Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Waking Early

The drawers are increasingly empty..waiting to be filled.

Clear is not blank, but has tints of yellow and blue.  I walk toward the colors...tones carrying messages and memories, and the light, traveling so much faster than I swirls over my shoulder to bring the tints to life.  It is clear.  So clear.

Yoda is interested in it all, but doesn't see what I see, and I do not see what she sees.  We dance together as if we see one world, but there are many and they vary from moment to moment, day to day.  Mostly she lives a life pretending to be a fierce hunter, but we have changed her context so that she is largely make believe.  I live a life pretending to be...what?  Perhaps it is an inability to pretend that pushes me to constantly seek out new journeys.  The perception of a life, a career, a relationship, is not sufficient or sustainable but rather there is a need to seek out something more than perception.  Something more than a semblence of a life.  Something with more than just tints of yellow and blue in an opaque field.  Some clarity of the alignment of purpose and activity which is clear, and rich in color.

Perhaps that is why there is a greater comfort in a context where the future is unknown and the task is undefined and new.  Without the pretense of a moment there is the possibility of more than just a semblence.  Questions are more real than answers.  Seeking is more spontaneous and hopeful than finding.

The journey is all.

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